When you feel you need meditation, meditation is impossible. There is no meditation, since meditation has no object or aim. It just happens. Or not.
Sometimes you feel depressed, sometimes not. This sensation comes and goes, like all sensations. You say you believe that, if you practiced meditation you would have peace of mind, your depression would be less and you would not think that meditation is like a cheat to happiness. All of these are no more than thoughts, ideas, projections. What would really happen remains unknown. There is no way of knowing for certain how you will think about things if you practice meditation or if you do not. We seem to understand very little about how our minds work. In practice you can only wait and see. This seems to go for most things in this world.
If you are nevertheless interested in meditation, which seems to be the case, it is useful to remember that meditation is just a way of connecting to reality so that you do not suffer from imagined problems such as the one you express here. You need that, because, most of the time you are disconnected from reality and engaged in thinking. Your thoughts about the objects and results of meditation are examples of these. In practice, there is nothing to achieve and nothing to let go of.
- Find a comfortable, pleasant place to sit.
- Listen to the sounds and see whatever you see as it comes and goes.
- You sense physical sensations as they also come and go.
- You may notice thoughts and emotions arising and passing.
What happens, happens.
Nothing else ever happens.
That is all. Enjoy it. You are alive.