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  • Home
  • Jonathan Harrison
  • Guide Book
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  • Teachings
  • Audio & Video
    • Audio
    • Video
  • Contact
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  • Home
  • Jonathan Harrison
  • Guide Book
  • Study
  • Teachings
  • Audio & Video
    • Audio
    • Video
  • Contact
  • More reading

I get upset when friends and family do not live up to my expectations. What can I do?

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There is confusion between two different things

  • Your expectations
    What you think will or should happen. As all thoughts, expectations occur, neurological processes and no more. They seem to mainly reflect your psychological history, childhood development, culture and how you have internalized you life experiences.
  • What actually happens
    How this world really exists and works

As you begin to understand this deeply, that your mind creates expectations as part of its natural neurological process, your belief in these same expectations begin to dissolve. Ultimately, your expectations cease troubling you and you no longer expect the future to correspond, or not to correspond, with what your mind expects.

For example

  • Sometimes your family and friend love you and sometimes they are angry or hate you;
  • Sometimes people you regards as friends are more loyal to you, sometimes less

This is just how things really are. I am sure your own experience confirms this.

In reality, What happens, happens. Nothing else ever happens.

The Zen people say that if you understand, things are as they are. If you do not understand, things are still the way they are. It is enough to fully understand this in order to be free of trouble caused by excessive belief in your expectations.

Enjoy your life.
Expect whatever you expect, but do not expect the future to necessarily match that.
Jonathan

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Beliefs Expectations Illusion Reality Thoughts
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