I feel lost. What can I do to find myself?
There is some confusion here.
In reality, nothing that you or I do is either relevant or irrelevant, since in reality there is nothing for it to be relevant to. In reality, you do what you do. That is all.
Still, these feeling must be unpleasant. Can you see them for what they are – feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations – simply expressions of your physical and mental conditioning. Between birth and death your body and mind naturally generate feelings, sensations, thoughts and emotions. It is what your body does. Rather than a problem, can you just see this as your human nature.
You mentioned several mental processes of which you are aware, feelings that:
- the last 22 years actions have been irrelevant
- you have been chasing the wrong things
- you do not know what you want to do
- you are confused and have lost your way
- other people seem to have clearer goals and purposes
- your existence should have a purpose
Can you see all these as they are – just mental processes, reflecting your natural creativity. Opinions. Beliefs. And no more. They indicate nothing real beyond their own existence.
Can you maybe see an underlying dissatisfaction with yourself? To what extent can you see this as a reflection of your psychological history. Somewhere along the way, you may have lost a certain belief in your judgement. This usually happens in childhood, often as a result of the attitude of key people to you. Although you may understand today that what they thought about you reflected their own personalities, as a small child you unconsciously absorbed it as true since you had no resources to evaluate what was real and what was not.
Through conditioning you acquire the way you think and feel, and the way the world seems to you. It is neither true nor false, rather an amazing illusion, a pure creation of your conditioned mind.
So… what happens if these opinions of yours reflect nothing real?
Where does that leave you?
What is your real situation – if not what you think?
Finding out, accessing reality, can open the possibility of peace of mind.