Questioner: I am often angry or sad. How can I control my emotions?
Jonathan: Are you actually separate from the emotions? You see, in order to control something you need to be separate from it. For example, a driver is separate from the car she controls. But are you actually separate from the emotions? Can you for example, send the emotions to Paris but remain in Tokyo? Or the opposite?
The language can be misleading. Your question is fine, grammatically, but nevertheless has no real meaning. It does not refer to any action, possible or impossible. You, your sadness and your anger all refer to the same thing. Sometimes you are in a state of anger. Sometimes sadness is the prevailing state. They may also occur together. Or neither may be there. But it seems difficult to find anything or anyone who controls these changes, just as it is difficult to find a single agency that operates the weather. Sometimes it is sunny, sometimes it rains. These are all very complex natural processes.So is it possible that you and I are also no more than, albeit very complex, natural processes?
- Sometimes there is anger.
- Sometimes there is sadness.
- Sometimes there are both.
- Sometimes there are neither
The trick is to realize this deeply. Over time it becomes your nature. Then,
- When you are angry, there is anger. You notice it as it comes and goes,
- When you are sad, there is sadness. You notice it as it comes and goes,
and that is all.
Just as you notice the changes in the weather you notice the changes in your emotional state. This way, life is easier.
I wish you peace of mind – independent of whatever emotions are present.